Before we fall, p.3
Before We Fall, page 3
Junie puts her fork down and I frown. I know Karen means well, but that reminder didn’t come at a great time.
“Did everyone in this town know you two were an item but me?”
“Well, you were new in town, so probably.”
She lets out a big sigh picking her fork back up, and I quietly breathe a sigh of relief. I’m not ready for this to be over. This is as close as I’ve gotten to getting Junie to talk to me, and I feel like I’ve won a damn war.
“You didn’t tell me not to call you Junie,” I murmur, more to myself than to her.
“I didn’t figure it would do any good,” she mutters and she’s right. “Are you going to ask your damn question?”
“Anxious?” I laugh.
“Just wanting it over with so I can eat without getting heartburn,” she responds with a smile that is totally fake and says she’d rather pluck my eyes out with her fork. Note to self, Junie can definitely be vindictive. That shouldn’t turn me on, but being that it is Junie, it does.
* * *
“You’ve been turning fools down left and right that have been chasing after you like a starving junkyard dog and you were a meaty steak. So, why did you finally say yes to Zeke?”
“Wow, quite the description you got there, Sheriff.”
“Just stating it like I see it. Hell, most of them have been drooling so damn much it’s a wonder Stone Lake hasn’t been a flood zone all year.”
Her eyes go large and round. Her fork stops out from her mouth, which is open in shock.
And then it happens.
She laughs. It’s a warm laugh, and it’s all Junie. Sweet, the kind that makes you want to smile, her whole body is into it, and she doesn’t give a fuck who is watching her. And those eyes. The twinkling blue that I always think about when I’m alone in my bed—usually with my hand wrapped around my cock—warm so deeply that I smile as she pulls me into the joy she’s showing.
Even if it is at my expense.
“Sheriff, I think you need to be put on medication,” she says finally, when her laughter dies down, and she finishes her bite of food.
I take a couple bites of my own, before admitting she’s right. “Probably, after all, I’ve been one of them.”
* * *
“Yeah, right.”
“You think I go to the bar all the time for any other reason than the woman behind it, Junie? If you do, you’re fooling yourself.”
“I don’t know why you do any of the things you do, Sheriff. It’s not like that is any of my concern.”
I frown, but I let it go. I keep telling myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Junie wants to bust my balls, and I probably deserve that, but we’re going to have to work past it soon, because I’m not letting her get away from me, especially to the likes of Zeke.
“Are you going to answer the question?” I ask, after a few minutes of silence. It’s strange how we can eat together and the silence not be… awkward. I’ve always felt the pressure to keep a conversation going on with other women I’ve dated… even Luna.
“You asked a question?” she murmurs, sounding bored and not even bothering to glance up from her plate to look at me.
“Why Zeke?” I remind her and finally her gaze finds mine again, even if it is to roll her eyes at me.
“Have you seen the way that man fills out the flannel he wears? What woman wouldn’t want to hold on to that in bed?” she asks, matter-of-factly.
I expected a lot of answers, but not exactly that one. I tap down the jealousy that I’m feeling and try to concentrate on the here and now. “Zeke played football in college,” I tell her.
* * *
“So?”
“Muscles like that can’t be natural. Joshua is good at football, but you don’t see those muscles on him, do you?”
“You’re insane. Joshua is thirteen.”
“He’ll be fourteen in a few weeks,” I correct her. “And he doesn’t have even the beginnings of that kind of muscle. Obviously, ole’ Zeke’s come from overuse of steroids.”
“Steroids?” she says, shaking her head like I’m nuts—the smile back on her face.
“Exactly and you know what they say about steroids, Junie.”
“No, I don’t. What do they say about steroids, Ben?” She asks, leaning in closer, danger lurking in her eyes and I don’t give a fuck because she finally used my name.
* * *
“Big muscles mean a tiny….”
“Tiny?” she prompts, as I’m hypnotized with the way that smile plays on her lips, the deep dark centers of her eyes expand against the blue, and her fucking long eyelashes that frame those beauties.
“Dick,” I supply, and I’m instantly rewarded with her laughter again.
“I can see you’ve put thought into this,” she says and even though she’s not laughing out loud now, her eyes are.
I shrug.
“You’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Zeke’s dick, Sheriff. Maybe you want to go out with him. I promise you, if that’s it, I can step aside for you.”
“I’m starting to see another side of you, Junie.”
“I’ve got several sides, Sheriff. You were just too preoccupied to notice.”
“I get why you’d think that, but you’d be wrong, Junie.”
“It’s kind of hard to prove that though, isn’t it?”
“Not really, if you’d take a minute to ask yourself a question,” I reply, hoping like hell that this gets through to her.
“What question?” she asks, studying me.
“Why would I hang around over a year for a woman who didn’t mean something to me?” I ask her.
I see the question register, and I think for a moment that I might have made my case.
Then she opens that beautiful mouth of hers. “Let’s say that I believe you, Sheriff. That I’m willing to give you the benefit of a doubt and that you’re all fixed up now and healed, whatever you want to call it.”
“There was nothing wrong with me before, Junie.”
“You called me another woman’s name. I think that means something was.”
“I’d dated Luna for a couple of months, at least seriously, Junie. We dated on and off for a couple of months before that. We were tight, and I cared about her.”
“I’m not really sure I need to be hearing all of this, Ben. No offense, but I really don’t want to hear all of this.”
“Well, you’re going to. I never thought you were someone who avoided shit just because it wasn’t easy to deal with.”
“Ben, we dated for what? Maybe a month? A little over? And I’m not even sure you can call what we did as dating. So, I fail to see why all of this even matters.”
“Because you matter, Junie, and you’ve been holding a grudge against me for a year now. I’m taking that to mean that I mattered to you—at least a little,” I reply, laying it on the table, and giving it to her straight. I look straight at her too. I’m not running from this, and I don’t want her to either.
“You hurt my ego, that’s all. Boys don’t notice most of the time, because theirs are gigantic, but women can have egos too, you know.”
“I get that, but I don’t think that’s all of it. Tell me that I’m wrong, Junie.”
“You’re wrong, Ben.” Her tone and face are serious, and she isn’t backing down. She’s also not looking me in the eye.
“You’re lying.”
She lets out a large, exasperated breath and in a clipped voice that tells me she’s not about to argue with me—probably because we both know the truth—demands I finish this. “Just get on with it, Ben. I got better shit to do than be here all night going over your past love life with my sister-in-law.”
“Luna and I hadn’t slept together. We were just at the stage that included some heavy make out sessions—”
“God, shoot me now,” she says with a dramatic sigh.
“Just like we had started, Junie,” I add, like she said nothing. She shoots me a look with narrow eyes that is definitely designed to make a man’s balls wither up.
“I wasn’t in the right headspace when we started, but I can promise you when it was you and me, I wasn’t picturing you as Luna. It was just me and you in our bed.”
“Until you said—”
“In my sleep. We were new, Junie. What we were doing was new. Are you going to hold that against me and not give us a chance?”
“Why do you even want a chance, Ben?”
“Because I care about you, Junie. Because I want to be the man at your back, and I want to explore what we started because I happen to think it was fucking good.”
“You say some really good things, Ben, but it doesn’t change the fact that when we started whatever it was that we were, the moment it counted, you had your head filled with another woman. There’s no getting around that. It’s always going to be there.”
“Where we began, Junie, doesn’t have to be where we end up. You just have to give us a chance.”
“She’s my sister-in-law, Ben. Holidays, birthdays, family events, she’s there and I’m there and…”
“She’s there at the football games now, Junie. Yet, I cart my ass there every Friday night that Josh is on the field, to be there—to see you.”
“Bullshit. You’re there for Josh.”
“I could see Josh just fine from another bleacher, Junie. Don’t fool yourself, not about this.”
“I got to go, Sheriff. I’ll see you around,” Junie says, getting up, and I know she’s locked down tight because she stops using my name. I’m disappointed as hell, but at least I had my say. Maybe some of it penetrated that hard shell she keeps around her.
“I’ll take you home,” I tell her getting up.
“I can catch a ride at the bar,” she says.
“I said I’d take you, Junie, and that’s final,” I growl, this time my patience is the one at an end. She doesn’t reply.
I go pay our bills, covering Junie’s—because I would have either way—but Zeke’s too because the dumbass didn’t even pay the bill when he left. I guess I owe it to him, since I sent him running on a fool’s errand, considering the vandalism was done by a ten-year-old kid who is currently at home with his parents grounded for life—and also was nowhere near Zeke’s boat.
Then, I put my hand on Junie’s back and lead her out of the restaurant—ignoring how good that feels and the way my fingertips seems to burn against her skin. I don’t know what I have to do to get Junie back in my arms, but I know I won’t stop until she is.
Chapter Six
Junie
“You really bought Hoyt’s old place?” Ben asks, and I sigh, because he’s not the first person to ask me that. I hated the place I rented though, and this place spoke to me. It’s an old farmhouse. It almost needs renovations in every room, but the bones are good. The floors are in perfect condition, the bathrooms have been updated, and the original woodwork is gorgeous in a deep cherry wood. The entire land—ten acres—has a fence that runs the perimeter, but more importantly, the main yard is fenced in with a locked gate in the drive. Ben pulls up to the gate and stops.
“Yes. It’s beautiful,” I tell him, and I can’t help if my voice sounds defensive.
“It is, but it’s also a hell of a lot of work to take on your own, Junie.”
“I’m a big girl. Besides, I’m enjoying it. I’m just doing a room at a time. Anyway, thanks for the ride. I’ll see you around, Sheriff,” I mutter, my hand on the door handle ready to bolt.
“Oh no you don’t. You know the drill, Junie. I’m not letting you go into an empty house alone. I want to make sure it’s safe.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” I snarl, my voice biting. Ben just gives me a “look”. “Sheriff, in case you haven’t noticed, the entire place is fenced in.”
“Never met a criminal that couldn’t scale a fence, Junie,” he says.
“I have that doorbell camera thing. I’d know if anyone was around. It would alert my phone.”
“Never met a criminal who goes up to the front door and rings a doorbell when he’s set to rob the place or hurt the owner, Junie.”
“I have—”
“Baby, we can sit here and argue all night, or you can hand me the key to the gate and let me get you inside the house.”
“Do not call me baby,” I warn him, mostly because I like hearing it and that can’t happen.
“I’ll try to remember. So, what’s it going to be?”
“I’ll get out and unlock the gate,” I grumble, clearly pissed off and you think that would be enough to make him back down.
“The hell you will. Junie, give me the—”
I don’t let him finish. I jump out of the squad car and slam the door on him. Then, I jog to the gate. I open it up just enough to squeeze in, then I lock the sucker back. I look up at Ben, shielding my eyes from the glare of his headlights and flip him off. Screw this. I don’t have to put up with his overprotective ass—especially after he went out of his way to ruin my date. Okay, so I wasn’t having that much fun on the date and Zeke felt more like a brother than a potential boyfriend. Still, Ben didn’t know that. It could have been an amazing date, and he would have ruined it.
The asshole.
I’m almost at my front door when I let out a huge screeching yell. Ben has somehow climbed over my fence and caught up with me. He grabs me from behind, locking my body against his, yanking my keys out of my hands.
“You forget who you’re dealing with Junie,” he whispers in my ear.
I hate that I do it. I try to fight it back, but instead my entire body starts shaking. I’m trembling so hard that I can’t even respond.
“Jesus,” I hear Ben hiss. He gathers my quaking body into his arms, one hand under my knees the other at my back and he’s packing me to the door. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Junie. I wasn’t thinking,” he murmurs with such gentleness that tears sting my eyes.
“It’s… it’s okay,” I stutter, and Ben squeezes me into his body tighter.
“Let me get you inside, Baby,” he says, and then, somehow, he’s juggling me and unlocking my door at the same time. When we get inside, he doesn’t waste any time. He walks me straight over to the couch in my living room and sits me down. “Hang tight for just a minute, Junie.”
With that, he retraces his steps, locks the door, and starts going through my house. I close my eyes and lean back against the couch. When I open them again, it’s to the sight of Ben coming down my stairs. He walks straight to me and bends down on a knee between my legs, one of his hands on each of my thighs.
“Are you okay, Junie?”
“Yeah,” I tell him, feeling really embarrassed.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he says again.
“It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting it. I’m fine,” I assure him, wondering if I’m trying to convince him or myself.
“I’m a jerk,” he mutters, pushing his fingers through his hair as he moves back just a breath to watch me.
“No argument here,” I try to joke. I think I mostly fail, but I give myself an “A” for effort.
“Do you have nightmares?” he asks, and I really don’t want to have this conversation.
“Ben, it’s late. Can you just leave? I don’t—”
“That means you do. I thought you were in counseling,” he says, studying my face.
“How do you know? Are you checking up on me, Sheriff?”
I expect him to deny it. I’m really surprised when he doesn’t.
“Fuck right, I am. I told you, Junie. I may have let you walk away from me a year ago, but I knew what I wanted. I’ve been biding my time until I felt you were ready.”
“That’s insane,” I breathe out, feeling panic bubbling in my chest.
“Then I guess I’m just crazy about you, Junie.”
I blink as he jokes. There’s nothing remotely funny about this mess.
“Ben, you need to stop. This… you and me…we’re not happening.”
“It is. It’s past time. You’re ready and I’m more than ready. You need to resign yourself to the truth, Junie. I’m not going away.”
“You’re wrong. I’m not ready,” I tell him, already shaking my head no.
“You were out on a date tonight,” he reminds me of something I regretted from the moment I said yes and am now regretting even more.
“That was a mistake,” I tell him. “I’m just not ready to have a man in my life,” I sternly express to him, and I have to wonder if he can hear the panic edged at the back of my voice.
“You’re a woman who screams sex, Junie. Do you really think you can go through life without enjoying that in your life?”
“I scream sex?” I repeat, feeling like I just swallowed my tongue.
“Oh, yeah, more than anyone I have ever met.”
“You’re wrong,” I deny.
“It’s been a year, Junie, but I haven’t forgotten a moment of our time together.”
“That was a lifetime ago. I’m a different person now. I have a new life plan.”
“A life plan?”
“Yeah. I just decided on it tonight,” I tell him and that’s not a lie. I decided on it right this minute, and I’m going to stick to it.
“What is this life plan, Junie?” he asks, and his dark eyes hold a humor in them that I shouldn’t like, but I do—even if they are freaking me out.
“I’m buying stock in batteries.”
“Batteries?”
“Definitely. The only man I can handle in my life is Bob.”
“Bob.” For a minute he looks confused and then he starts laughing. His laughter warms me, chasing away the last remnants of the fear I felt earlier.
“Oh, Junie. You’re in trouble now.”
“I am?”
“Definitely,” he says, but he gets up and starts walking to the door. I follow him like I’m in a trance.
“Why am I in trouble, Sheriff?”
“Because I always did like a challenge, and now, I’m going to feel compelled to remind you that your vibrator can’t compare to what I can do to your body.” He opens the door and casts me one last glance. “Make sure you lock this door, Baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
