Ghosted, p.3
Ghosted, page 3
On the other hand, Jude and Ronan often shared marriage hardships with each other. Ronan had been the one who talked about his bout with performance anxiety, with Jude telling him tricks he used when he had the same problem. Both men had walked away from the conversation feeling better and more settled, knowing the other had been through the same struggle. But this, what happened earlier at home with Cope, was something Jude was staying quiet about.
He would love to talk to Ronan about what an asshole he’d been, both last night and again this morning, but was too ashamed to dial the number. In all the years he’d known Ten and Ronan, they’d never been through anything serious enough to cause either of them to think it might be time to walk away from the marriage. Right now, Jude wasn’t sure he could say that about himself and Cope.
Prior to coming to Salem and meeting Cope, never once had it crossed Jude’s mind to settle down with one man. His entire adult life had been one continuous party with one night stand after one night stand. Maybe a lucky fucker was booked for a return engagement, but those instances were few and far between. “So many men, so little time,” had been more than a catchy bumper sticker, it was the mantra Jude lived his life by.
After he’d come to Salem and met Ronan and Tennyson, he’d started seeing that neither of his friends felt like they were missing out on anything by only being with each other. That alone had come as a huge shock to Jude, but the fact that Ronan truly missed Ten when they were apart, blew his mind.
Jude couldn’t think of an instance in his entire life when he’d missed someone. Maybe he’d been lonely from time to time, but that wasn't the same as feeling bereft without the company of a specific person. Over time, Jude learned that finding one man and settling down wasn’t the anchor around his neck he’d thought it would be. In fact, when Cope came along, he was mostly ready to take the plunge and stop seeing other people entirely.
Of course Jude had told Cope all about his colorful past. He tried to be as vague as possible, while hitting the salient points concerning his HIV status – Thankfully negative – and his most recent STI panel – Also, thankfully, negative.
He’d thought it would be hard to give up his seat at the buffet table of men life had to offer, but surprisingly, he’d never once missed the anonymous bathroom sex in the clubs or trying to remember the name of his current one-nighter.
With Cope by his side, Jude had flourished. He’d grown up and taken responsibility for what went on in his life. He committed to Cope and later adopted Wolf and said, “I do.” They’d bought the house across the street from Ronan when it came on the market. Nursery school applications and episodes of Sesame Street were foremost in Jude’s mind rather than his subscription to porn sites and making sure his bedside table was stock abundantly with condoms and lube. Their family had been complete when they’d adopted Lizbet nearly two years ago. Life had been wonderfully complicated and messy over those last two years. He wouldn’t have traded them for anything in the world. But now, thanks to his asshole behavior, Jude might not have a choice.
Even with a little bit of booze in his system, he’d known he’d been sailing very close to the wind at the policeman’s ball. Jude might be a reformed bad boy, but the one thing he’d never been able to walk away from was the attention others paid to him.
Last night, thanks to the Hannigan case, all eyes had been on Jude. Technically, on Ronan and Fitz too, but the governor herself made sure to single Jude out for his excellent work, same with the lieutenant governor, and Salem’s mayor. It should have been a quick leap for Jude that people would want to get close to the detective who’d been cozied up to three of the most powerful people in the state, but he hadn’t made that connection until it was too late.
Sick of driving around, Jude parked the car at the Salem Willows. He was the only person in the park, which wasn’t a surprise with it being January, the cruelest, and coldest, month of the year. He turned off the engine, leaving the keys in the ignition and got out of the car. The wind off the water instantly chilled him to the bone. Good. Jude needed the slap in the face the weather would provide.
He walked to a bench with a view of Dead Horse Beach and took a seat. The waves were churned up with a storm approaching from the south. The weatherman had spoken about an impending nor’easter yesterday morning, but with all that happened last night and this morning, Jude hadn’t caught the latest report. If the anger of the ocean was any indication, Salem was going to get nailed with snow, high winds, and higher tides.
He made a mental note to stop off at the grocery store and pick up their favorite staples. Pints of ice cream for himself and Cope. A bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for Wolfie, and Lizbet’s “shishies,” otherwise known as Goldfish crackers. Maybe his thoughtfulness would help Cope’s temper toward him cool enough so that he could apologize for being a dick-faced asshole last night and again this morning.
Before he could make peace with his husband, Jude needed a reckoning with his past. Shaking his head, Jude refocused on the events that landed him alone in a park on solitary bench with temperatures hovering around twenty degrees.
Seeing Jerry again had really thrown Jude for a loop. If he was being honest with himself, and at this point, there was no reason not to, Jude, for the barest moment, had flashed back to his past. His memories of Jerry flooded his mind. He’d been one of the few men Jude had seen more than once. He’d been a hungry lover, giving as good as he got, always making sure Jude came so hard, he nearly blacked out.
Was it a crime for Jude to have looked back on those days fondly? Probably not. What was a crime was the way Jude had allowed Jerry to be close to him. He’d known his former lover was flirting with him in the hopes of enticing him away from his husband and with Jude’s fucking consent, the asshole had done just that. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once and there had been a time or two Jerry’s lips had grazed the sensitive skin near his right ear, when he’d leaned in closer to speak in a tone only Jude and his stupid dick could hear.
It hadn’t taken much for his cock to rise to the occasion, which, now that Jude thought about it was probably the worst part of the night. The ring on his left hand might announce to the world that he was taken, but his dick had no such constraints placed on it. All his traitorous prick knew was that there was a chance of getting wet and he was most definitely up for anything.
His mind cast back over the things Cope had said before he’d walked out of the house. It was obvious his husband was having a crisis of trust. It sounded very much to Jude like Cope had been questioning his faithfulness. Jude didn’t blame him one bit. If the roles had been reversed and Cope had behaved the way Jude had, coming home with a phone number in his pocket and getting suggestive text messages from a man who was not his husband, Jude would be wondering if Cope had broken their vows too.
Jude knew Cope would ask if it had been worth it. All the attention lavished on him last night, the drinks he’d been given, and reconnecting with a big-dicked former lover. The answer to that question was a definitive no and not just because his feet were frozen blocks of ice and he couldn’t feel his face.
Cope and the kids were his entire world. Even being away from them now hurt in a way Jude had never felt before. His mantra of “so many men, so little time,” had carried him through his single days, keeping his heart safe from being broken, stomped on, or ripped out of his chest. In this moment, Jude understood the pain he must have cause so many people over the years. What Cope was feeling now. There was helplessness, mixed with soul-crushing regret, and fear.
Stone. Cold. Fear.
If a stranger had asked Jude yesterday what he was afraid of, Jude would have jokingly mentioned the rising cost of college tuition and Lizbet’s future clothing budget. Now, the stark reality was that Jude was on the precipice of losing it all. His husband. His kids. His home. His friends. His career. In essence, everything.
Taking a deep breath, Jude realized all was not lost. He could get back in the car, blast the heater, and drive home to face what he’d done to blow his marriage apart. He would do whatever it took to make Cope understand this was a one-time fuck up. That he’d done nothing in the past that would qualify as coming close to breaking his vows. Then, he’d pray like hell that Cope would be able to see and feel his sincerity.
Jude was willing to do whatever it took to get his marriage back on track. If it meant sleeping on the couch for a week, or a month, he’d do it gladly, with no complaints. If Cope wanted to go to counseling, he’d go, no questions asked. He’d do the work to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.
Feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, Jude knew he had a solid plan for saving his marriage and his family. As he was about to get up from the frigid bench, he heard footsteps behind him. Turning, he caught sight of a familiar face. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Without saying a word, the person approached Jude with a syringe in his hand, seconds later, the needle pierced the skin of neck.
Jude felt his entire body shutting down. As he wilted, in slow-motion, to the sandy beach, his last thought was that this moment was a scene right out of Dexter. Jude hoped like hell he didn’t wake up in a room covered in plastic, cling-wrapped to a table, with photographs of his misdeeds surrounding him.
5
Cope
Not only had Tennyson taken Wolfie to the library to check out “blizzard books,” as his son called them, but he’d also taken the kids for lunch at McDonalds, bringing home a cheeseburger and fries for Cope and some nugs for Lizbet.
The last thing on Cope’s mind had been the impending snow storm. After lunch, he’d checked the weather online and realized he didn’t just need to get out and get stuff to make Jude’s favorite dinner, he needed to stock up on supplies like bread and milk, in case the power went out. Quickly compiling a list, Cope headed out the door to drop the kids with Ten and Ronan.
“Where the hell is Jude?” Ronan asked when he opened the door. Wolf and Lizbet ran inside, leaving Cope alone on the stoop to explain things to Ronan.
“I’m not sure. He went out to run some errands.” Cope shrugged, trying to look non-chalant. He wasn’t a good enough actor to stand up to the scrutiny of a seasoned cold case detective.
Ronan’s eyes narrowed. He nodded. “Tell that prick to call me when he gets back. He’s not returning my texts.”
“Oh, you know Jude. When he’s got something on his mind, he doesn’t let anything distract him.” Turning, Cope practically ran down the stairs.
When he was in the car and had it warming up, Cope realized what Ronan had said about not returning texts. His resolve to let Jude come crawling back to him crumbled about an hour after his husband left the house. He’d called and texted Jude, apologizing and asking him to come home so they could figure things out. Jude hadn’t responded to either message. Knowing now that he wasn’t responding to Ronan either, sent a shiver of fear skirting down his spine.
Jude had only been gone for four hours. It wasn’t time to panic yet. Taking a deep breath, Cope pulled into the street and headed for the grocery store. When he arrived, the parking lot was packed. It had taken several minutes for him to find an empty spot.
Worried the aisles were emptying out fast, Cope headed inside the store, which was complete and total chaos. Everyone from a four town radius was packed inside, pushing carts that were filled to overflowing with snacks, soda, beer, and steaks. Cope assumed people planned to grill if the power went out, which it most definitely was going to do at some point during the storm. According to what he’d seen on the internet, Salem was expected to get approximately two feet of snow. With strong easterly winds off the water, the power would be knocked out long before the storm pulled away.
Cope moved up and down the aisles with military precision, ducking around people to grab pasta, crushed tomatoes, bread, peanut butter, and the last gallon of whole milk. Cookie dough, ice cream and others snacks were added. Taking a cue from the stuffed carts he’d seen on the way into the store, Cope grabbed steaks, potatoes, and asparagus, all of which could be grilled. On his way toward the checkout, Cope breezed through the bakery section and grabbed a cheesecake and muffins. The more, the merrier.
After waiting nearly forty minutes to get checked out, Cope stacked the groceries in the back of his SUV and got into the driver’s seat. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping the screen. There was still no response from Jude. Tapping out a quick message asking his husband to please come home, Cope started the engine and headed home.
When the groceries were put away, Cope went across the street and rang Ten’s doorbell. “Uncle Cope!” Everly shouted as she opened the door. Wolf waved from the sofa where he and Lizbet were watching a movie with Ezra.
“Hey, kids!” Cope pasted on his brightest smile. He walked into the kitchen where Ten and Ronan were sitting at the table. “Any word from Jude?” he asked, sounding hopeful.
Ronan shook his head. “What’s going on, Cope?” His tone was accusatory, which made Cope feel even worse than he already did.
Ten smacked Ronan’s arm. “Let us help, is what Ronan was trying to say.”
Cope pulled off his heavy winter coat and took a seat at the kitchen table. He couldn’t help thinking of all the happy dinners they’d had in this very spot over the years. “You all saw Jude last night.”
“He was feeling no pain, to say the least,” Ronan said, not sounding as upset as he had moments before.
“Right. When we got home, we argued about his flirty behavior a bit, and then he got sick. Really sick.”
“You mean he was throwing up?” Ten asked.
Cope nodded. “Yeah, but there was more to it than that. He was dizzy, off-balance, and was having a hard time remembering things that had happened earlier in the night.”
“Sounds like he had way too much to drink,” Ronan surmised.
“It also sounds like he’d been drugged.” Ten sighed when he finished speaking. “I was supposed to mention it to you, but with getting ready for the storm and whatnot, it slipped my mind.”
“Jude said he thought he’d been drugged. I didn’t believe him. I thought he was just making excuses for the way he’d acted, you know flirting with everyone and letting his old lover lure him away from the crowd.”
“Is that who that man was?” Ronan asked. “The one I had to pull Jude away from when we were leaving.”
Cope nodded. “Jude said his name was Jerry Dunkirk. They’d spent some quality time together in the past. I tried not to read too much into it, but with me not wanting to go to the party in the first place, having a shit meal and a shit time, I was angrier at Jude than I ordinarily would have been. Then I was angry because he was so drunk and out of control and I guess it carried over to this morning.”
“You looked okay when I came to pick up Wolf,” Ten said.
“Our argument started after that. When you dropped off your tuxes for me to return, it reminded me that mine and Jude’s were piled on a chair in our bedroom. I went upstairs to get them and checked through the pockets. I found a twenty in my pants, forty dollars in Jude’s and a cocktail napkin with Jerry’s phone number, which sent me over the edge.”
“I would have been really upset by that too,” Ronan said, with Ten agreeing. “What happened then?”
“I threw the napkin down in front of Jude and asked what the hell it was. Just as I did, a text came through on his phone. It was from Jerry and said, ‘Hi, lover.’ There was no stopping my anger after that. I yelled a bit and intimated that he’d broken my trust. Jude got up from the table, kissed the baby and walked out of the house. That was about fifteen minutes after Ten left with Wolf for the library. I haven’t heard a peep from Jude since. He’s not returning my calls and hasn’t even read my texts.”
“Maybe his phone is dead?” Ten asked.
Cope had considered that possibility as well. “He’s pretty anal about his phone, not wanting to miss any calls or texts from Ronan and Fitz.”
“Well, he’s been missing my calls all day,” Ronan said, reaching into his back pocket for his phone. “I’ve called him twice and sent four texts. He hasn’t read any of those either.” He tapped the screen a few times and the sound of a ringing phone filled the kitchen.
“Hey, Ronan,” Fitzgibbon’s cheerful voice answered. “You ready for the blizzard heading our way?”
“Only if you’re going to dig out my car.”
Fitz laughed. “Not a chance asshole! What’s up? Please tell me Everly wants Aurora to come for a sleepover. She’s driving me nuts this morning playing beauty salon. There’s not enough soap in this house to wash away the metric ton of blue eye shadow she put on me.”
Ronan didn’t laugh. Neither did Cope or Ten.
“What’s wrong?” Fitz asked, flipping instantly into cop mode.
“Have you heard from Jude today?” Ronan asked, wearing an unsure look.
“No. I texted that asshole an hour ago to ask if he was interested in a pre-blizzard barbecue and he didn’t get back to me. Is something wrong, Ronan?”
“We don’t know.” Ronan quickly recapped what Cope had shared with him. “Cope is here with us now. We were trying to decide what to do. I wanted to check with you to see if you’d heard from him.”
“No, not one peep from him. Cope, do you have the ability to track Jude’s car or his phone?” Fitz asked, all business now.
“Maybe. I might need a minute to figure it out.” Cope knew he could use the app to track his own phone, but had never done that with Jude’s before.
“Okay, you work on that. Aurora and I will be over in a minute.”
“Might as well pack for the night, Fitz,” Ronan said. “If there is something wrong and this isn’t Jude needing time off the grid, a sleepover will keep Wolf’s mind off things if all the kids are together.”
“Agreed. I’ll be there in ten.” Fitzgibbon ended the call.
