She drops her mouth open.

  I tip her chin to bring her lips together. “What?”

  “It’s just… When you said our whole life, it made me feel… Even with every horrible thing that happened tonight… For the first time, Leif, I’m actually looking forward to my life.”

  My heart breaks a little.

  This beautiful, vibrant woman doesn’t know what love feels like, and now that she’s embracing it, she’s looking forward to life for the first time. How very wonderful…and how very sad.

  “My God, baby…”

  “Please don’t take that the wrong way. I was never suicidal, Leif.”

  “Thank God.”

  “I just…existed. I existed in a state of resignation. I didn’t fight for anything. Not even on the island. I was forced to run, to submit, to supposedly fight for my life, but I never thought my life would actually end.”

  “Right. Reid told me about that. The men weren’t allowed to kill you.”

  “It wasn’t even that, really. Every once in a while a woman would disappear with no explanation. We always assumed one of the guests had taken it too far. Even then, though, I didn’t want my life to end, and I always fought hard when I had to. But I had accepted life as it was. I wasn’t looking for anything more.”

  “God, Kelly. You’re something.”

  “Because I don’t want to die? I think that’s pretty common.”

  He pulls me close. “That’s not what I mean, although I’m glad you never felt you wanted to die. I mean that after everything you’ve been through, after living a life devoid of emotion, you’re finally letting yourself feel. Some people go through their whole lives without ever allowing themselves to feel.”

  “I don’t know if it’s that I did let myself feel. I just didn’t know. I didn’t have any frame of reference for any of this.”

  “Now you do. Now you know what love is, Kelly Taylor, and I’m going to make sure you never forget.”

  13

  KELLY

  He kisses me.

  It’s a drugging kiss — a soul-crushing kiss. Both his hands are around my cheeks, and I feel his passion.

  I feel his love.

  He slides his hands over my hips and underneath my sweatshirt, and his touch sets me on fire.

  He breaks the kiss long enough to pull the shirt over my head, and my breasts fall gently against my chest.

  He lets out a groan, and then he slides his lips over my neck, my shoulder, across my chest, until he kisses a nipple. Just kisses it, and it makes me insane.

  He’s back to my mouth then, and the kiss is firm and open-mouthed and perfect in every way.

  We kiss and we kiss and we kiss. I slide my hands over his warm neck and chest, while he shoves my pants over my hips, brings them down, and then removes his jeans. We’re naked on the bed. I’m lying on my back as he hovers over me, and I bring one leg up over his hips. He kisses my nipples, sucking one into his mouth, tugging on it, and then he lets it go with a soft pop as he glides his tongue between my breasts. He takes the other nipple between his lips, while playing with the first one with his fingers.

  I gasp. I moan. I cry out his name.

  And I know… I know that he does this not just for his own pleasure but for mine as well.

  A first for me. Knowing that the man touching my body isn’t just doing it for himself.

  I let out a whimper when he releases both my nipples, but then he pulls me up so that I’m sitting, and he kisses me again. He kisses me with lots of tongue. Lots of lips. Lots of love and passion. Then he lets my lips go, and I stare at him. Stare at his porcelain chest, his light brown nipples, his perfect male beauty.

  I lie back down, settle my head on the pillow, and slowly he spreads my legs.

  My pussy is throbbing, waiting for his tongue, but instead he paints soft kisses all over my inner thighs, taking care to kiss each one of my scars.

  They don’t disgust him.

  He spends a lot of time on them, as if he’s healing them with his lips and his love.

  But then…

  Then he spreads my legs and slides his tongue over my pussy.

  I gasp out in pleasure. “Oh, Leif!”

  I close my eyes, undulate my hips, moving in tandem with his velvety tongue.

  He eats me. He eats my pussy, and this body. This body is mine. It never belonged to anyone else, no matter how many times it was violated. It’s mine.

  And I willingly give it to Leif.

  His tongue… His tongue over my folds, over my clit, he moves it rapidly, driving me crazy, and I’m inching toward a climax…

  He tugs on my clit, sucks on it, and my hands wander up my body, cupping my breasts, pinching my nipples.

  Still he licks my pussy, concentrating on my clit. Until he moves forward, replacing his tongue with his fingers, and he kisses me. He kisses me deeply, and I taste my own juices on his lips and tongue.

  I don’t think he’s ever tasted better when he kissed me.

  It’s the taste of life, of his tongue, of the inside of his mouth, which is always minty fresh. But it’s also the taste of me, of the tang of my pussy.

  And it’s fucking glorious.

  He breaks the kiss then, slides back to my body, giving each nipple a quick nip, and then kissing my belly, my abdomen, the top of my vulva, before he slides his tongue between my legs once more.

  I’m on the brink of orgasm, just on the brink, but he’s so good at sliding his tongue over me, bringing me almost to the precipice and then easing away. He’s a tease, my Leif, but I’m enjoying every minute of it.

  He licks my slit, and then he comes back to kiss me again. Another deep and full kiss, and he tastes even better this time. His fingers slide through my pussy folds, rub my clit. I’m so ready to come. So ready to come.

  But then I look at him.

  I look at him when he breaks the kiss, take in his beautiful Nordic features, his searing blue eyes, his light blond hair. I find myself wanting to do something I’ve never wanted to do.

  I want to touch him…down there.

  I want to give him the pleasure that he’s given me.

  He moves us so we’re side to side, and I melt against his chest, kiss his flat nipples, relishing the fact that they get hard for me as mine do for him. I rain kisses over his abs, tracing his sixpack with my tongue.

  His skin is so warm, and I move back up to his mouth and kiss him. And then I touch him.

  I wrap my hand around his hard cock.

  God, it’s hot. So hot, and now I know why I felt so cleansed the first time we fucked.

  His cock is made of burning flames. And it’s hard. So fucking hard.

  I maneuver us so he’s lying on the bed, and then I spread his legs and position myself between them.

  He’s huge. I’ll never be able to take all of him, but I’ll do my best. Because this is what I want. To please him. To please him the way he pleases me.

  I slide my tongue over the head of his cock first, tasting the salty pre-come. I lick him all the way down to his balls. Back up and back down again.

  Before I have a chance to take him into my mouth fully, he pulls me forward, kisses me passionately. And then pulls me into his arms, still not breaking the kiss.

  He slides a finger into my pussy, and I nearly come right there.

  Then he removes the finger and he’s beside me. He nudges his cock at my entrance.

  He kisses me, and then slides me onto my side so we’re spooning, and he shifts his cock into me.

  “Oh God…” I moan.

  He pulls my face around to kiss me. Nibbles on my earlobe. I hold my thigh up so he can get a better angle and thrust more deeply.

  The sensations…

  As he burns through me, as he completes me…through my closed eyes I see the passion of our love.

  I inhale the smell of our sex. Then I turn and look into his eyes. They’re heavy-lidded, out of focus, as he continues to push into me.

  God, his hands on my breasts, squeezing my nipples. And then his lips on my cheek, kissing me, tugging on my earlobe, all the while thrusting, thrusting, thrusting.

  He pulls my face toward him again, kisses my lips, tangles his tongue with mine.

  With my upper hand I reach behind me, touch his taut ass, push on it, hoping to get him farther and farther inside me.

  I love you.

  The words are in my head, surrounded by a lovely pink cloud.

  I love you, I love you, I love you.

  I’d say them except his tongue is in my mouth.

  He pulls at me then, pulls us both over so that he’s on his back and I’m on top of him. He positions me, pushes me down on his hard cock.

  He doesn’t even make me work, though I’d be glad to.

  He holds my ass with his hands, holds me steady as he pumps into me, gyrating his hips.

  So perfect.

  We kiss for a while, and then he pinches my nipples.

  I can’t help myself. I have to move my hips, so I do. We thrust together in tandem, as our lips meet and are fused together.

  All the times with Leif before, I enjoyed myself immensely.

  But this? Now I know what making love truly is.

  Now I know that it’s not just a euphemism for fucking.

  It’s something truly distinct all on its own.

  I pull myself upward, my hair in sweaty strands around my cheeks and shoulders. Leif pushes it back, cupping my cheeks.

  “Look at me, my beautiful Kelly.”

  I meet his gaze as I suck the thumb of one of his hands into my mouth.

  His eyes are searing blue, and they’re not just gazing into mine, they’ve become magnetically pulled to mine.

  “Yes, Kelly, baby. Look at me. Watch my eyes, watch my lips, listen to these words as I say them to you.” He thrusts again, gritting his teeth. “I love you, baby. I love you, Kelly Taylor. Always.”

  I sigh, never letting my gaze fall from his. He’s still thrusting into me, and I grip his shoulders for support. “I love you too, Leif. I love you so much.”

  Then I fall forward and lock lips with his.

  We’re still fucking.

  No, not fucking. Making love, and—

  Leif breaks the kiss. “Touch yourself, Kelly,” he says. “Touch yourself and make yourself come. For me.”

  Touch myself?

  I’ve tried it before. It doesn’t work.

  But it will tonight. It will work while Leif is embedded in my body.

  Our gazes never wavering, I bring myself forward until I’m perpendicular to him, his cock deep inside me.

  He cups my breast, twists my nipples, and I gasp, electricity flowing through me.

  I slide my hand down my abdomen to touch my clit, and —

  “God, yes!”

  The orgasm rips through me, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.

  It’s intense, it’s raw, animalistic, yet it’s passionate and filled with promise.

  Filled with love.

  “That’s it, Kelly. God, you’re beautiful when you come. Keep going, baby, keep going. I want you to come long and hard for me.”

  “Yes,” I breathe out. “God, yes.” The climax subsides and then begins again.

  I sigh, deep in the nirvana of orgasm, as Leif continues thrusting, thrusting, thrusting…

  “Keep coming, Kelly,” he says through clenched teeth. “Keep coming because I’m— Oh!” he grunts out.

  He pushes up into me, filling me so completely, and as my orgasm slides downward, I feel it. I feel his release. Every pulse of it.

  I don’t move.

  I can’t move.

  I want to sit here forever, right on top of Leif’s cock, because this feeling of completion… It will fade as soon as he moves out of me.

  When his pulses finally subside, he tugs on my hands, pulling me down. “Come here, baby. Come. Kiss me, my love.”

  Our lips meet, are bodies still joined, and love… Love flows around us.

  And I know that it’s love. I know it in my heart and my soul.

  14

  LEIF

  Kissing Kelly…

  Making love with Kelly…

  Words flow through my head, trying to describe something that’s indescribable…

  Passionate, fulfilling, perfect in every way. Beautiful, like a sunrise, like the beginning of a new day where everything goes smoothly.

  Pure perfection.

  Nirvana.

  Heaven.

  Paradise.

  All good words, but none of them quite accurate.

  There’s not a word that exists to describe the pure happiness I’m feeling at this moment.

  My dick stays hard, embedded inside her, as we continue kissing.

  Normally it would be going down by now, but it shows no signs of that.

  I gently maneuver us so that we’re both lying on our sides, facing each other as we continue the kiss.

  It’s a gentle kiss now, a kiss of completion, a kiss of love, a kiss of the future.

  For this woman is my future. I won’t pressure her. She still needs more healing, and I understand and respect that.

  So we continue to kiss, and kiss, and kiss…

  Until we both fall off into gentle slumber.

  I’m jolted awake by my phone alarm at eight in the morning.

  Shit.

  Kelly’s appointment at the police station. Ten a.m. sharp.

  And I forgot to tell her about it.

  I know what to expect. She will revert to old Kelly, tell me where to get off—and in this case she has a good argument. I should have remembered to tell her.

  I rise, the sun streaming through the slatted blinds. Then I turn and look at the beautiful woman still lying in my bed.

  She’s naked, the sheet between her legs.

  Her lips are still red and swollen from all our kissing, and the smell of sex as I inhale is still thick in the room.

  God, I hate to wake her.

  She hardly got any sleep last night, and I know she has to work tonight.

  But after what happened with Brindley, and now with the questioning she’s going to endure and the horrific message she received…

  Surely her new boss will be understanding…

  I don’t know.

  But if she’s not? I don’t give a shit. Kelly will get another job. A better job.

  I head to the bathroom, take care of business, slide on my jeans, and go to the kitchen to start some coffee. First, I’ll make Kelly a nice breakfast. Bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes.

  Does she like those things?

  Damn. I’m in love with this woman, but I don’t even know what she likes to eat. I know she likes pizza, and she likes a turkey and avocado sandwich.

  Pancakes seem like the safest choice. I grab some pancake mix and milk and get started.

  A few moments later, just as the coffee is done brewing, I have a stack of six pancakes. I grab the bottle of maple syrup, a stick of butter, and put everything out on the table.

  Then I go to wake up Kelly.

  She’s moved a little. She’s now on her side, tangled up in the gray sheet.

  She looks like an angel. An auburn angel, with her hair splayed out on the pillow.

  I touch her shoulder gently. “Kelly.”

  She doesn’t respond at first, so I nudge a bit harder.

  “Kelly.”

  Her eyes open sleepily. “Hey.”

  “I made breakfast. You like pancakes?”

  “With raspberry syrup?” she asks.

  “Maple syrup.”

  “That’s a decent second.” She sits up in bed, stretching her arms over her head with a yawn.

  “Everything’s on the table. All I need is you.”

  “Okay. Give me a minute.” She rises and goes into the bathroom while I head back out to the kitchen.

  A few minutes later, she’s back in her sweatpants and sweatshirt, and she sits down at the table, inhaling. “Smells great. Buttery.”

  I smile. “That would be the butter. How do you take your coffee?”

  “Just black.”

  “Good. Me too.” I fill both of our cups from the coffee pot that I placed on the table.

  I wait until she’s eaten a good portion of her breakfast before I bring up the inevitable.

  “Kelly…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  She smiles shyly. “I love you, too.”

  I clear my throat. “There’s something I should’ve mentioned last night.”

  Her eyes widen. “Oh my God. You forget to use a condom or something?” She wrinkles her forehead. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’ve got one of those implants. They made us have them on the island, and I decided to keep mine until… Well, you know. I’m not ready for anything like that.”

  I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. “No, I didn’t forget to use a condom. But it’s nice to know we don’t need one from now on.”

  “You’re clean?”

  “Yep. Besides, believe it or not, I haven’t had sex with anyone else in six months.”

  “Good.”

  “I figured you’d like that. But I do have to tell you something.”

  “What is it?”

  “I have to take you to the police station this morning at ten. They want to question you.”

  This time her jaw drops, and her fork clatters to the floor.

  “I meant to tell you last night, baby. You were so distraught, and then… Well, you know what happened.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of the message. The letter. And…Brindley.”

  “But I didn’t have anything to do with any of that.”

  “I know. The cops just need to get every bit of information that they can. I can go with you. And Reid said he’d have an attorney—”

  “An attorney?” she gasps.

  “Calm down, baby. It’s just a formality. Reid wants to make sure you’re protected. This is just questioning.”

  “What if they arrest me?”

  “For what, Kelly? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

  She closes her mouth then, inhales deeply.

 

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