Cancelled, p.33
Cancelled, page 33
“In the meantime, we’re going to distract her with this precious child and a home-cooked meal,” Jerome says, winking.
My mom is already distracted by Sammy, who is giggling as my mom plays peek-a-boo behind her hands. Laurie beams at me, and Jerome slides an arm around her.
Smith couldn’t be here today, but he saw me off last week. He’s started his coding certification program, and on top of being promoted to assistant manager at Prism’s, he has fewer days off. But he still comes home once a month to spend time with Mom. Even though I’ll be busy with college, I vow to try and do the same.
“Is this it?” My mom’s eyes begin to fill with tears. “How did you grow up so fast?”
“It only took eighteen years,” I try to say playfully, but a few of my own tears fall down my cheeks.
I say my goodbyes to Laurie and Jerome, who’ve already told me that my mom is welcome over anytime she’s feeling lonely. Then I turn to Charlie and Cadence.
“Call me tonight and tell me everything,” Charlie says.
“Call me first,” Cadence interrupts. “Best friend privileges.”
“Sorry, suckers, but she’s calling me first,” Marlowe adds, grinning.
I pull both Marlowe and Cadence into a hug. “I will update the group chat so much that you’ll be sick of me.”
Cadence lets go first. “Okay, go before I get sappy and emotional. Ew.” She pretends to shiver. “Have fun. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She reconsiders. “Or have done.”
I laugh as Charlie humors her with an unamused eye roll. Then, he pulls me around to the other side of the car for privacy. He wraps his arms around me, and I squeeze him back fiercely. When we pull away, the top of his T-shirt is wet with my tears.
“Sorry,” I say. “You’ll only be an hour away, I know.”
“And we can FaceTime.”
“Right.” I gaze into his eyes. “It’s all so new and different. It feels like a lot at once.”
Charlie considers this. “It is. You’re not wrong,” he says slowly. “But I know you, and I know you’re going to do great things.”
“So will you,” I tell him.
“And that’s what we’ll focus on, right? The rest will come as it comes.”
His words spread warmly through me. We can’t see what will happen in the future, but the now is pretty great.
I fall into his lips one more time, and it’s far too soon by the time we have to pull away. There’s a commotion of goodbyes as Marlowe and I get into her car. As she begins to back out of the driveway, my eyes lock on Charlie. I find that he’s already looking at me, smiling. A tiny blossom of hope blooms in my chest.
He’s right. We’re going to be just fine.
Acknowledgments
I wasn’t sure what would become of this story when I began writing it in 2020, but I’m deeply honored that I get to share Cancelled with you now, four years later. Publishing a book is an enormous privilege, and I am thankful to so many people who made this dream a reality.
Immense amounts of gratitude to my agent, Suzie Townsend. I am also eternally grateful to Sophia Ramos, Dani Segelbaum, Kendra Coet, and the team at New Leaf Literary who worked hard on this book.
Thank you to my brilliant editor, Jenny Bak. Working with you is such a delight. Your insights and editorial guidance helped transform this story from good to great, and your enthusiasm for my writing means so much to me. I also want to extend my thanks and praise to AZ Hackett.
It’s been a dream to publish with Viking Books, an imprint I’ve admired for so many years. Thank you to each and every person, from sales to marketing to publicity, who dedicated time and effort to this book. Kelley Brady and Sadie Lewski, thank you for Cancelled’s gorgeous cover.
An enormous thank-you to my wildly talented (hot) writer’s group: Alanna Bennett, Erin Chack, Kirsten King, Krutika Mallikarjuna, Nina Mohan, Casey Rackham, and Sheridan Watson. I am in awe of every single one of you. Thank you for your continuous positivity and support throughout Cancelled’s journey and for helping me shape it into what it is now. I’m a better writer because of you, and I’m lucky to call you my friends.
I’m so grateful to have fellow authors and supportive friends in my corner: Kirby Beaton, Zoraida Córdova, Stephanie Garber, Mackenzi Lee, Bridget Morrissey, Julie Murphy, Lara Parker, Gretchen Schreiber, Austin Siegemund-Broka, Adam Silvera, Krista Torres, Phil Torres, Pablo Valdivia, Shyla Watson, and Nicola Yoon, thank you for being there. Maura Milan and Louisa Onomé, thank you for reading Cancelled in full during its early stages. Emily Wibberley, thank you for your advice, encouragement, and for supporting this story since the first pages. Aminah Mae Safi, I cannot thank you enough for all the hikes, reassurance, and heartfelt conversations.
It feels surreal to have authors I greatly admire take the time to support this story. Kristin Dwyer, Emma Lord, Robyn Schneider, Rachel Lynn Solomon, thank you for sharing your wisdom and enthusiasm. It means the world to me. Readers, please check out their books. (You won’t regret it.)
There are many people who champion books—from librarians to booksellers to book bloggers to media to readers on social platforms—and I want to take a moment to acknowledge how much hard work and dedication it takes to do this. If no one has said it lately, allow me: Thank you. I am so appreciative of you. Special thanks to Dahlia Adler, Britney Cossey, Margaret Kingsbury, Rachel Strolle, and everyone who works hard to advocate for books.
Chris, you’ve seen me through all my highs and lows. You cheer me on when my doubt creeps in and hold an unwavering belief in my dreams. Thank you for your resilient optimism, never-ending encouragement, and for being my voice of reason. You say I’m your favorite author, but you’re my favorite person. Thank you for loving me, all of me, just the way I am.
To my entire family. Most especially, Cianna. Adulthood may not be what we thought, but you make the rough times feel so much smoother. Thank you for caring, for listening, and for all the laughter. Being delulu with you is the best.
Mom, thank you for buying us books even when money was tight. Thank you for telling me not only to dream, but to dream bigger. Thank you for your sacrifices, support, and love. You’ve always believed in me, and it means more than I can say.
And to you, reader. There are so many wonderful stories that you could spend time reading, and I am so humbled that you’ve chosen this one. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
About the Author
Farrah Penn is an author and writer living in Los Angeles whose work has appeared on Buzzfeed, Bustle, and more. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @FarrahPenn.
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Farrah Penn, Cancelled
