‘It’s going well, Mum, some small issues to sort out after which I can start typing up the report.’

  ‘That’s good. But I hope you are giving yourself a break. It would be nice to go out with friends sometimes, Lulu.’ She puts a few more tomatoes in the basket and looks at me, her eyebrows creasing in the middle.

  I hate that I am worrying her about me overworking. I have stopped telling her about any of my problems since Apollo died, specifically to prevent this. I don’t want her to worry about me on top of everything that has happened with our family. I want to reply that I will try meeting new people. But ... Sorry, Luna, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know how to deal with you. The voices run through my head like a warning. I still haven’t gotten over the sting of what happened with Charlie. I can’t do that to myself again. I will be better off alone. ‘I’ll be okay, Mum. It is important that I put all my effort into this project so that I can have the best chances of getting through the competitive astrobiology PhD programs.’

  Mum’s face immediately softens, and she cups my cheek. ‘Muffin, breathe, please. It’s okay to take a break sometimes. I know you’ll do amazing. You are the smartest girl I’ve ever known,’ she says.

  My heart warms hearing this from my mother; my family has always been the biggest supporters of whatever I do. They’ve supported me ever since my childhood, when I borrowed an astronomy book from the library and decided that I would one day go to space. ‘Thanks, Mum, that means a lot.’

  After an hour and a half of shopping and catching up with each other, I want to stop by my favourite cafe in the town centre to get a chocolate croissant. But Mum says she is tired and wants to go home. I wave her goodbye and walk by myself to Cafe Leche.

  The door chimes as I push through it (since it’s an older cafe), and I get hit by a wave of sweet aromas and instantly get drawn to the display of freshly baked pastries. I order a chocolate croissant to go, and once I get the bag, I turn to leave, but I catch sight of someone sitting at one of the tables.

  Cooper is sitting there wearing a flannel shirt on top of a white t-shirt; his hair is tousled carelessly, and curls fall in every direction. He has pencil marks all over his fingers, probably from rubbing across the harsh lines on the drawing in the sketchbook he is holding. He also has a few marks on his chin, which I guess he hasn’t realised. He looks at ease, like he was plucked out of a painting and placed here as if by design of the universe. A small flutter goes through my stomach as I continue to observe him from a distance.

  It’s amazing how people exist around us, and we might have been in the same place multiple times, but only after we get to know them personally do we start noticing them. How many times have Cooper and I crossed paths without recognising each other?

  I walk over to his table and sit across from him. He looks up from his sketch to notice me. He takes a second to realise it’s me, but once his brain catches up, a smile spreads across his face, his eyes widen, and his eyebrows move up for a microsecond.

  ‘Hi, Luna, fancy meeting you here.’

  ‘This is my favourite cafe in Kingston, the chocolate croissants are to die for. And I couldn’t help but be part of the creation of an artistic masterpiece,’ I respond with a tinge of playfulness in my tone.

  ‘They do have delectable pastries. I agree.’ After a second, he continues. ‘Please feel free to sit here for however long you want; you might eventually become my muse.’

  Heat travels to my cheeks, and I break eye contact with him to look around for a moment. I try to change the topic. ‘I wanted to ask, how did you know that I was studying aerospace engineering? I never told you about it.’

  ‘Well, I noticed the titles of the books you dropped on the day we met, and I made an educated guess,’ he responds with a smirk on his face.

  ‘Ahaa, in that case, should I make an educated guess and say that you are studying art?’ I say as I look back and forth between him and the sketchbook.

  ‘Ouch, I’m actually a medical student,’ Cooper says, his face turning serious.

  Embarrassment rises in me, and all I can respond is, ‘Oh.’

  Cooper immediately starts laughing. ‘I’m sorry, I am playing with you. I’m afraid I’m guilty of being an artist.’ He raises both of his hands, palms facing towards me, as if to surrender. ‘I’m doing my master's in fine arts. I focus mostly on portraits,’ he says, trying to break the tension.

  I try to go back to normal, but my cheeks are still warm. I subconsciously place a hand on my face, trying to hide the redness. ‘That sounds interesting. Can I see your work?’ I ask, intrigued.

  He slowly closes the sketchbook in his hand. ‘At least take a man out to dinner first,’ he says teasingly.

  A laugh comes out of me unprovoked. It has been a year since I laughed out loud. I catch my breath and look at Cooper, who has been looking at me with amusement in his eyes. His attention is fully on me and hasn’t wavered even for a second. The way he looks at me feels like he isn’t only looking at me; he sees me. But when I let someone truly see me, they have so much of me that they can use to hurt me with.

  Instead of running away from the conversation like usual, I stand from my seat and politely excuse myself. ‘It was nice to meet you, Cooper. I do have to be somewhere now.’

  Before I leave the table, Cooper speaks from behind me. ‘Luna, wait. When can I see you again?’ His eyes widened for a split second – like he just shocked himself from what he said. It doesn’t look like he did this often.

  ‘I don’t know if I can, Cooper,’ I respond, my voice softer.

  ‘Maybe we can go on a riverside walk together? Just as friends, no pressure to stay, you can leave whenever you want.’ He hurries in a word vomit.

  It does sound nice, the riverside walk. But my walls are built high, and my brain is protective of my heart. I stand there in silence.

  He notices my hesitation and adds. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

  He’s right. I deprived myself of any happiness and avoided talking to people for a year now. But I am pulled towards Cooper’s enthusiasm. He seems interesting, and I want to get to know him more. Despite the alarms in my brain, I nod. He quickly stands from his chair and stops right in front of me, towering over me and juts his hand out. ‘Shake on it?’ he asks.

  I smile and lift my hand to meet his. ‘Deal.’

  ​5​

  Cooper

  My eyes roam over the different colourful flowers at the florist in Surbiton, and I try to choose the ones I want for the bouquet I am getting for Luna. I can’t meet her for the first time empty-handed. She deserves flowers. After a few minutes of my brain cells debating, I chose a mix of sunflowers, larkspur and lilies. It mimics Luna’s beauty in my eyes. I also stop by the grocery store to get a chocolate bar since she likes chocolatey things.

  I walk towards the riverside to the exact place we decided to meet. We exchanged numbers at the cafe last week, and we chose to meet today because it is the beginning of summer and the weather is perfect, in addition to the amazing sunset that I can show her. As I reach closer to the spot, my eyes land on Luna standing there, facing the river. She looks ethereal in a white sundress, butterfly clips holding her hair up, and her honey beige skin looking golden in the sunlight. ‘Hi,’ I say as I come to a stop behind her.

  She lets out a soft gasp and turns towards me. ‘Hi.’ She smiles knowingly; an understanding passes between us that this has become our usual way of meeting each other – me shocking her every time she sees me.

  I extend the bouquet in my hand towards her and watch her reaction. Her eyebrows raise in surprise, and she looks up at me. ‘Are these for me?’

  I simply nod in return.

  ‘You didn’t have to,’ she says, looking unsure whether to take it.

  I hold the bouquet towards her and wait for her to take it from my hands.

  She grabs it with both of her hands and lifts it to her face to smell it. She must like the smell because a soft smile appears on her face, and she lets out a hum. ‘Thank you, Cooper. They are beautiful. I love sunflowers.’

  I pull out the chocolate bar from the pocket in my jeans and hand it to her. Her face brightens at the sight of them. ‘You didn’t,’ she says, her lips parting and her eyes widening.

  ‘I did.’ I smile.

  ‘How did you know I like chocolate?’ she questions me.

  ‘Drinking hot chocolate in the morning was a small hint,’ I respond coyly.

  ‘Thanks again, Cooper. It’s very nice of you,’ she says.

  I nod again to acknowledge her. ‘Shall we?’ I ask as I point my hand towards the river.

  ‘Lead the way, your grace,’ she responds, hugging the bouquet and the chocolate close to her chest.

  We walk towards the dock in the river, and once we reach it, I lay down the blanket that I brought, and we sit on it. I made sure we met closer to sunset because Queen’s promenade in Kingston always has the best sunsets. We watch the sky in silence as it roars in orange and pink, leaving us breathless.

  I break the silence. ‘Are you doing a bachelor's in aeronautical engineering?’

  ‘A master’s actually.’

  ‘Aah, what are your plans after?’

  ‘Probably a PhD and then go for astronaut training,’ she responds.

  Just when I thought she couldn’t be more impressive, she reveals that she wants to become an astronaut. I stare at her in awe for having big dreams. I don’t know her much, but my gut tells me that she wouldn’t stop until she achieves her dreams, and I am happy to be one of those people who knew her during the early stages of her career.

  ‘That is amazing, Luna. Can I ask what made you want to become an astronaut?’ I ask, letting my curiosity take over my words.

  She takes a second before answering. ‘It’s a funny story, actually. It started with my Mum naming me after the moon and showing me the stars often when I was little. I became obsessed with stargazing and wanted to watch all the meteor showers. I used to wake my brother for every single one of them. Eventually, he became interested in it himself, added all the meteor showers to his calendar, and set up picnics in our backyard for us to watch them together. He used to play the guitar while I lay on the ground and watched the meteors shoot by.’

  A wave of melancholy passes over her face as she gently twirls one of the lilies from the bouquet. She said used to, while talking about her brother. A deeper story lies underneath her words, like mine, but I didn’t want to push her to talk about anything that she wasn’t comfortable with. I stay quiet, giving her the space she needs as she shares this with me. ‘Wow, I guess little Luna knew what she wanted to be at a young age?’ I try to distract her from the feeling that was drowning her at this second.

  ‘Pretty much, you should ask my local librarian how many books I checked out about the sky and the stars when I was only ten.’

  I like hearing about the nuances in her personality and the history of her dreams. She continues playing with the lily, and she hasn’t put down the bouquet since I gave it to her, which warms my heart. I am glad that I gave her something meaningful.

  ‘Tell me something about you. You know more about me than I know about you.’ She cuts the silence between us.

  It surprises me that she wants to know more about me. ‘Alright, what do you want to know?’

  ‘Who was the first person you painted?’ she asks, her eyes drifting from the flowers to me.

  I catch my breath. She wasn’t joking when she said that she wants to get to know me. Nobody has asked me that question before, and now my interest in getting to know more about Luna’s thoughts and personality has increased tenfold. ‘My Dad,’ I respond, my voice quieter. Watching Luna open up about her dreams makes me want to answer honestly. I wouldn’t have said it out loud in a million years.

  Her eyebrows raise in surprise. She folds her legs and rests her chin on her knees. ‘Was there any particular reason?’

  ‘I wanted to see how much of his face I remembered just from memory ...’ I smile as I say that, but a sharp sting goes through my chest. I wait for Luna to respond, but she nods and smiles back at me. She is giving me the same space that I gave her moments back. I appreciate that.

  A slow tune begins – the beginning of a song – right behind us. We both turn our heads to find a young boy sitting with a notebook and a pen in his hand, his phone playing Yellow by Coldplay. I smile without thinking and turn back to Luna to catch her reaction, but to my surprise, she starts singing along with the song. I watch her in awe as she sings the chorus effortlessly, her voice flowing as smoothly as a professional pianist playing a song they practised every day. I wait until she finishes the song before I talk. ‘You sing beautifully.’

  She smiles just enough for the dimple on the corner of her lips to appear. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Do you like Coldplay?’

  ‘I haven’t actually listened to any of their songs properly. My brother used to blast this song at home religiously; it stuck in my head like an earworm. I guess I had unintentionally memorised the lyrics. He always nagged me to listen to the entire album that this song is from, but I never got around to it.’

  ‘Right.’

  Every relationship is transitory, and people leave someday or another. It’s easier for me to not make an effort to talk to people or spend time with them – even though I crave connection – than to risk getting hurt. But sitting here with Luna, talking about things, is teaching me how beauty lies even in ephemeral things or people.

  An hour passes by, and a silence washes over us as we quietly watch the sunset rage and die down with a bluish black darkness chasing it down the horizon. Once the sun sets, we stand in unison and dust off our clothes. It is time for us to part for the day and allow uncertainty to sit between us. I have only spent a few hours with Luna, and I am already getting to know more about her than I did a month ago. I don’t know if or when we will meet again. But I just know that this isn’t the end.

  ​6​

  Luna

  I like talking to Cooper. He hasn’t pushed for us to hang out after the day at the river. It’s been a week, and we have been texting back and forth. He asks me questions about my interests and hobbies, and I respond when I get the time in between my busy schedule of attending classes, teaching Engineering Mathematics to the Bachelor’s students (as a part-time teaching assistant) and coming back home to work on my own project. I ask him questions too, I like how creative he is and the way he thinks about things – getting into the depth of it and with passion.

  I pack my bags for today’s classes when my phone dings. What are your plans for today?

  The usual. I have classes to teach today, and then I will probably spend the rest of the day studying.

  Would you want to join me on a visit to the National Art Gallery?

  The text cursor blinks on my phone as I contemplate my answer to his question. I don’t go to galleries that much, and I should be focusing on the research for my final thesis. Typing bubbles appear on the text chain. I wait for Cooper to send the message he is typing.

  Can I bribe you with the most delicious Pho you will ever taste in your entire life?

  A chuckle escapes me while reading his message. When I first met him, I would have never guessed how lively or funny he is, but he always says something to make me laugh. I could use some time outside studying. Mum, for one, will be happy that I am spending time with people.

  I will be holding you to that. And yes, I will join you.

  The typing bubble reappears, and he replies within seconds. Amazing! Meet you at the entrance of the museum at 5 PM.

  My classes get over at 3, and I take the next bus from the university to the museum. It will take me about two hours to get there, so I take the earliest bus. Most people prefer travelling by train, but I like travelling by bus. It gives me time to watch all the places I pass before I reach my destination. And the fresh air doesn’t hurt.

  I get off the bus and walk towards the museum. I expect to wait for some time for Cooper to be here because I arrived fifteen minutes earlier than planned. But when I get to the entrance, Cooper stands there, his back turned to me, wearing a navy-blue t-shirt and grey jeans. ‘Hey,’ I say, reaching right behind him.

  He jumps before turning to me. I press my lips, trying hard not to let the laugh break out of me. He looks down, and he rubs the back of his neck. ‘Ha, you got me back for all those times I startled you.’

  I look away to the side. ‘It wasn’t intended, for the most part,’ I respond.

  Our eyes meet, and a slow smile materialises on both of our lips. ‘Wait, how are you here early? I didn’t expect you to be here already. I shouldn’t even be here this early,’ I ask.

  ‘I noticed that you reached the riverside early, and I didn’t want you to wait alone in case that happened today too.’

  ‘Oh.’ I am used to waiting for people. This takes me by surprise.

  ‘Anyway, shall we go inside?’ he asks.

  ‘Sure. But I wanted to ask, why the art gallery?’ I ask him as we walk up the stairs to the door.

  ‘I come here regularly to sit and draw the paintings, for practice.’

  I soak in his answer; he is serious about his career. And with the discipline and passion he has for art, I silently wish that he achieves big things in life.

  We pass by different paintings, and my brain recognises certain pieces that my Dad has talked about as an art reviewer. But even if I recognise them, I let Cooper explain the significance and the history behind them. I like hearing him talk passionately about art. And for the paintings that neither of us know anything about, we don’t need context – we appreciate the beauty of the piece for what it is.

  Once we walk around for an hour, he sits near a painting and opens his sketchbook. He grabs a pencil from his pencil case and starts sketching. I stand away from him, not knowing what to do.

  ‘What are you doing? Come sit with me.’

  I walk over to him, uncertainty in my steps. ‘I thought you would want privacy to sketch.’

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11